Swatted like a fly. I got a knock on my door 10pm on a Weds. 10 years ago August 28th 2006. It was the Swat Team in full force, the ATF, the BSO, in full storm trooper gear. They sit me down in the middle of my apt. and put a gun to my head. I remember saying ” what are you looking for? ” as they ransacked the place. I was on probation hence they didn’t need a warrant or even probable cause. Like I said I was on probation so I didn’t even have any weed or anything illegal. They found my athame, a knife in a sheath in a tool box and not only said it was ” possession of a weapon ” but tried to get me to admit that I was going for it! Yeah right like the fucking SWAT Team comes to me house so I grab a knife, part of my Ren Fair costume it wasn’t even sharp. I had forgotten it was even in there. They charged me with a “technical VOP ” Violation of Probation and as you know in FL it’s come on Vacation, leave on Probation return on Violation.
So I was taken downtown ONCE AGAIN to the Iron Bar Motel, Fort Lauderdale’s Main Jail. That place really sucks. It’s the classic two tiered cellblock with metal tables in a main area with a t.v.. They keep you locked up in your cell most of the time.You’re stuck in a cage and it smells like a zoo. The way the idiots in their act you’d think it was a zoo. You can only watch so many episodes of COPS. My lawyer came to see me, now he was like “well you did have the knife” wtf? Who’s side was he on? I was obviously being railroaded and this is all he has to say? Oh right he’s already BEEN PAID.
They days wore on. Keep in mind I was a yoga teacher and Adjunct Faculty at a Medical School, Nova Southeastern School of Osteopathic Medicine, that had just started their fall semester. I could see the Downtowner from my cell window, just a week before I was playing there. I read anything I could get my hands on which wasn’t much. I signed up for anything that would get me out of my cell block for an hour or two. One day I heard about a ” Jesus cell ” in the Conte where there were better conditions but you had to do Bible study everyday and go to church. Even better they had a Preacher that came every week with a guitar and they sang in mass.
Well before you knew it I was born again. Yeah it was a bunch of Bible thumpers but there were better conditions at the Conte. I got to play Scrabble at night and before long I was playing for the Preacher every week. Were still friends to this day. When I got out I gave him guitar lessons. He had ass bad ass choir of 6 singing jailbirds and I loved playing with them. The very last day they had a going away party for me in the rec yard. The Preacher had brought a guitar and had arranged for me to play. I can remember playing to like 60 convicts yelling & standing on tables as I sang all the parodies of the Christian songs we’d been singing. I don’t remember them now but ” Jesus B. Goode ” sung to the tune of Johnny B. Goode was one of them. It was like something out of a movie.
So they finally reinstated my probation. Can you believe they jammed me up for a month on this nonsense? I almost lost my job at Nova but didn’t. The fucking cops were on a Goddamn training exercise to go house to house searching for weapons. That’s why the ATF guy was there. He was training them. Who better to train on then people on probation that you don’t need a search warrant to bust down their door ( and stick a gun to their head.) They found a measly little knife with a five inch blade that wasn’t even sharp. ATF? WTF? What am I on your list? Did my Wacko in Waco song touch a nerve or was it the Medical Marijuana thing? Is someone making anonymous phone call again? Can you all please stop stop fucking with me…are you that afraid of my Athame?