who’s going to feed the ducks???

….when I’m gone? Fruit Rats are Vegetarian. And around here they usually feed themselves which is to be expected when you live on a Jamaican Tree Farm. That’s out back and they pretty MUCH stay back there. But when I & I was away playing over on the West Coast they got into my Florida Room into some feed I had for the ducks. I don’t want to see people feeding them bread & potato chips & all kinds of crap. They need something healthy & nutritious. I had a bag of feed I from Pet Smart which was in a bag in a cardboard box but still the rats had chewed into it & now it was all over the floor. I cleaned up the mess, exhausted after driving all night across the Everglades. I tried to sleep but I was soon awoken by a frightful noise. I open my eyes to see MICKEY RAT himself scurrying across my bedroom floor.

I must admit he was kind of cute and I did have a moment of nice eye contact with him. But still not used to them getting in to the house. They have enough to eat out back. They’re vegetarian and my backyard is a Tropical Tree Garden with Mango’s, Ackee, Key Limes, Carambola, Sweet Sop, Sour Sop, etc. so that’s usually where they are.

The next morning I had to get the FUCKING DUCK FEED OUT OF THERE. So I proceeded to US 1 so treacherous to cross this time of morning. Very little sleep, I’m a walking Zombie so I fit right it with the FLAKKA SEAGULLS at the bus stop. I cross the street to the swanky new Publix Shopping Scheme they built across the street that they are Verboten to ENTER.

So I enter Publix I usually blend in but maybe not this morning looking frazzled, bag of feed in hand my mind focused on ducks. I know where to find ducks. Aisle #9 no WAIT they’re usually hanging out BEHIND Publix but today no ducks to be found. They have a little lake out there, but nada. I try the path to the park ( usually a haven for those fuckers ) BUT NO DUCKS ANYWHERE. I walk from one end of the park to the other and NO FUCKING DUCKS! WHERE HAVE ALL THE FUCKING DUCKS IN THIS TOWN GONE?  I asked a Egret passing by if he’s seen any…no reply just an enigmatic grin on his face….

….to be continued.

Editors note – South Florida Wildlife Center to Hollywood: PLEASE DON’T FEED THE DUCKS! left alone they will continue to feed and forage, if you encounter a sick or injured duck call SFWC at 954-524-4302 ext. 10