Monthly Archives: January 2015

Mercury Goes Retrograde!

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 Mercury

Retrogade motion is an astronomical term for when a planet moves in an opposite direction than all the other bodies in that system. When Mercury goes retrograde everything supposedly goes haywire. Miscommunications, ( Mercury is the messenger ) all sorts of Delays, Electronic devices, phones, computers, etc. going on the fritz, things breaking down resulting in total chaos.I know what you’re thinking isn’t all that stuff just made up. Yeah I used to think that too.

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So the New Year had started with a bang and everything had been going great. I had read somewhere that Mercury was about to Retrograde but I didn’t know the date. Apparently it was last Weds. I can even tell you the time. It was a glorious sunny day, I had the day off. I went & got a great massage and I was feeling like a million bucks. I did some errands and then I went to out for lunch and got a healthy salad. That’s when I believe Mercury went retrograde. As I got in my car and drove out of the parking lot, my seat belt sensor kept going off even after I buckled my seat belt. I had drove halfway home with the bell going off driving me crazy, when I got my friend on the phone to ask what he thought it was. ” Sounds like an electrical problem to me… ” Just then I got another call so I put him on hold. It was the restaurant calling I had left my backpack, with my wallet and everything in it! Told my friend I had to go and did a U turn to head back to get my back pack with my seatbelt sensor blaring away insistently. Pulled up to a light and the guy in the car next to me signals me to roll down my window. ” Hey your engine is smoking…” So I’ve got to get back and get my wallet but my engine is about to blow up if I don’t pull over and put some water in my radiator, which I do but I see the water just flowing out the bottom splashing all over the pavement. Oh shit. Mercury must have just went retrograde.

Mer

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Je Suis Charlie

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Paris, France – the New Year had just begun and already the peace was disturbed when 2 Militant Islamic brothers killed 12 people at the office of the satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo including 4 of their well known cartoonists. Witnesses said they heard the gunmen shouting “We have avenged the Prophet Muhammad” and “Allahu Akbar” “God is Great” in Arabic. A manhunt had the city on lockdown, school and businesses closed. The Eiffel Tower dimmed it’s lights in honor of the victims of the attack. Within 24 hours the suspects were tracked down and killed in a shoot out.

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As the writer of a satirical blog should I be worried that I might be killed for offending someone? Luckily my targets are usually Jews and Christians maybe the odd Buddhist but they can get pretty uppity as well but no Muslims. Terrorist take note please don’t kill me this blog only satirizes your known enemies, see:

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Charlie