Happy New Year, according to the Hebrew calendar as of sundown, it’s the year 5773…sho far so good. Get it sho-far, so good? ouch… A shofar is the horn, traditionally made from a rams horn, that they blow during the religious services for the New Year. This has been a long standing Jewish tradition for the last…well I guess for the last 5,773 years and no one’s ever made any fuss about it, that is until now. PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has come out condemning the practice and it has caused an uproar amongst the Jewish community. ” What do they want us to do blow through one of those noise makers with the little curly cues and wear those silly hats like the goys do? Oy vey! ” said Rabbi Lipman from Chabad Lubavitch of Greater Boynton. ” I know all about these people at PETA, they are the same people who don’t want you smearing lamb’s blood on your doorways. Fanatics! They don’t even eat meat! ”
A spokesperson from PETA could not be reached as of press time and the furor has since died down. None of the local or national media has covered the story, and only one lone protestor stood in the rain outside the shul.
p.s. We here at Space Hippie Worldwide Ministries would like to add if anyone is offended by this obvious parody ( Jews are pretty good about this sort of thing, all the great comedians were Jewish…Jack Benny, Henny Youngman, Seinfeld…Don Rickles for chrissake, um no offense, the list goes on and on… ) if anyone takes offense ( I mean not like the Muslims who would take offense and even the slightest of joke and say burn down your embassy and kill your ambassador that sort of thing… ) if anyone whatsoever is offended by this…ask yourself, WWJD? That’s right what would Jesus ( who was a Jew ) …what would Jesus do?