Ben and Jerry Make a Porno

Standard

Sorry to scare you like that…no Ben & Jerry didn’t make a porno ( but there has been rumors that they’re gay lovers for years… ) They did however recently sue a company named Ben and Cherry’s that made X rated movies with titles that parodied their products, for example ” New York Fat & Chunky, ” ” Peanut Butter D-Cup, ” and my favorite ” Boston Cream Thigh. ” They claimed in the trademark lawsuit filed in U.S. District Court in Manhattan, that the porn company Ben and Cherry’s,  was tarnishing their ” family friendly ” reputation and use of their ” well known and iconic ” flavors in the titles and themes would cause ” confusion, mistake or deception. ” I could see that happening. Some guy wants a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream and mistakenly ends up with a 20 hour 4 disc set of porn…at least that’s what he tells his wife!

Now I have a little problem with Ben and Jerry’s claim. I mean did Chef from South Park sue them for coming out with a flavor of chocolate ice cream named ” Sweddy Balls “? Of course not, Chef is a cartoon character numb nuts. But I know for a fact that they didn’t ask Jerry Garcia for permission to use his name before they came out with their “Cherry Garcia” flavor and he’s a real person. I also read that they tried to buy him off with a bunch of free samples but ultimately coughed up some dough. At least while he was alive anyway. His widow had to sue them in 2001 for licensing fees owed. They settled out of court. Plus Ben and Jerry’s claim to be a company with a social conscience that values people over profits but some say that’s just not true. For example they came out with a flavor supposedly to show their support for gay marriage ( no it wasn’t Sweddy Balls ) but none of the profits went to anybody but them. They’ve also been criticised by the Humane Society for the treatment of the chickens and cows they use to make their products. To their credit Ben & Jerry’s now uses hormone-free milk and cage free eggs, and is committed to using only fair trade products by 2013, according to a spokesman. But they were forced to drop the use of the phrase ” All Natural ” after actvists challenged it’s accuracy. Not to mention the ‘Unsafe’ levels of dioxin found in their ice cream; more dioxin in Ben & Jerry’s than gasoline refinery effluent, researchers report: http://scienceblog.com/community/older/2000/C/200002263.html 

Also keep in mind that the lovable hippie dudes Ben and Jerry that started the company sold it to the corporate behemoth Unilever for an obscene amount 10 years ago. So now all that noise about it being ” green ” or ” socially conscious ” is just a lot of hot air. So tell me who’s really getting screwed?

here’s some Ben and Jerry’s flavors we’d like to see:

p.s. our lawyers have advised us against POSTING THIS BLOG!!!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s