So I’ve got myself into a little situation here that could be potentially embarrassing. This former roommate of mine who was a real computer geek is threatening to post a sex tape of me online if I don’t pay him off. I’m being sexhorted you might say. So what’s the problem? Everyone who’s ever had a sex tape leaked became even more famous and it only benefited, not hurt their careers. Look at Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee or Paris Hilton or Dustin Diamond ( Screech from Saved By The Bell )…ok forget that last example. Well this is a little different. This sex tape involved, how should I put this…um it was of a solo performance. Yeah, like I said it’s a potentially embarrassing situation.
Ok, of course I am making all this shit up but I am trying to make this a comedy blog. I’m bored shitless and I’m trying to make people laugh, laugh so hard they shit themselves. I wanna write some good shit and make people laugh so hard they forget all the bullshit they have to put up with every day. ( For all you foreign readers in English shit is a very flexible word. It can be a noun, a verb, an adverb…tres~ magnifique! ) Ok, so maybe Obama really is a foreign born, dyed in the wool communist hell bent on destroying the American way of life. Perhaps FEMA is stocking up on body bags for every man, woman, and child that they can’t fit into all the internment camps they’re building. And of course the Planet Nibiru is about to wreak havoc when it enters our solar system on it’s 3,600 year elliptical orbit. I could care less. I just want smoke some fat nugs, bust a nut now and again and make some people laugh. Is that too much to ask?