U. M. Bong Smoking Team


So I’m going to an U.M. alumni party on campus this Friday. It will be good for the soul to see some of the fellow members of the Hurricane Bong Smoking Team. Not an official U.M. team, but undisputed National Champions nonetheless. It’s also Homecoming Weekend so they’ll be burning a boat in Lake Osceola to commemorate 500 hundred years of oppression of Native Americans or some shit. I’m not really sure. I’m hoping to induct a few new members into the uber secret Hempen Bow Society. We started that one year basically to mock the Iron Arrow Society but we’ve since come into our own. ( Look out Bonesman, we’re coming through. ) We used to meet in the pit. Anyone know if the pit is still there back by the film shack? I heard they got rid of the Rathskeller which is fucking ridiculous.

I’m also on a reconnaissance mission to scan a bunch of pictures from old U.M. yearbooks. They used to keep them in the library on the 7th floor. Back then there would be pictures of people smoking bongs in their dorm room in the yearbook! You see the students today they don’t know anything about the glory days when it was Sun Tan U. Back when I went there it was always ranked #1 party school. Nowadays it’s Universiy of West Virgina or  Ohio University. ( U.F.? not even close… ) Back in the day, Frank Zappa played for free on the patio, Grace Slick was a student there, students from the U.M. Art Department designed the logo for Woodstock. One year Bob Dylan played for homecoming ( ’92, ’93? ). Good Ol’ Zimmy. He was always drunk and belligerent back then. A girl I knew that worked for Student Activities told me he wouldn’t come out of his trailer and start the show ‘til he got a least an eight ball. ( I can relate. I’ve had days like that. ) Yeah so it will be fun to visit campus again after all these years. ( Wait a minute didn’t I do a panel discussion for Students for Sensible Drug Policy there last year? Maybe the year before… ) Anyway I’m pretty sure the statue of limitations has run out by now. So by this time next week I should have some juicy photos for you.


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