Wacko in Waco part 2

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Yeah it’s funny looking back now, end of an era. I was for a brief moment in time a jukebox hero. It turns out “ Wacko in Waco “ was a one of the last jukebox 45 hits. I wondered why it had the big whole in the middle. That Jeff was always thinking. He had struck a deal with the company that serviced all the jukeboxes. Of course it made it hard for common folk to play. Back then you had a devil of time finding the adaptor so you could play it on a regular stereo. You know what I mean the little round plastic things that you put on the turntable to play a 45?

Ah yes I forgot…ancient vinyl lore. More apochrypha for you young ‘uns. The 45 was made to be played on jukeboxes. We used the same distributor that had made “ The I-95 Asshole song “ such a big hit.  I once met the author August Campbell in a bar and he regaled me with stories. He told me he met the Grateful Dead in a bar somewhere in Michigan and they were all more impressed to meet him, shaking his hand and saying, “ wow man, you wrote the I – 95 Asshole Song! “ That song had been a big influence on what I was trying to do at the time, writing novelty songs and political satire. So yeah “ Wacko in Waco “ was on the jukeboxes in bars all over the country that played 45’s. They’re all pretty much gone now but I hear it’s still on some in Waffle Houses in the Midwest! I know ” The Ballad of Sloppy Joe, “ a Buffet parody of mine is still on a jukebox in Key West. If anybody spots one let me know. Also I’d appreciate any “ Wacko in Waco “ stories as well. A bunch of UM kids told me they heard “ Wacko in Waco“ up in New Jersey. They were playing  it on KROCK out of New York. I don’t know if that was on Howard’s Stern show or not. I heard Don Imus played it a few times.  Of course locally in Miami, the man was Neil Rogers. Neil GOD! Gone but not forgotten, he hosted a long running talk radio show on WIOD that pretty much defined the term “ shock jock. “ Outrageous but intelligent, he is missed. Oh and I forgot completely that Michael Stock played it on his weekly Folk and Acoustic show on WLRN ( because I called up and requested it! ). All these years and still going strong, his show airs every Sunday at 2pm. He’s my Facebook friend so if he’s reading “ Hi Michael love the show! “ I played a couple of songs live on his show one time including a hillbilly hemp protest number that provoked some angry phone calls. ( sorry Michael… ) A grow house operation had just been busted just down the block from then Sheriff of Broward County Ken Jenne and I dedicated the song to him. Oops, I thought WLRN was the Dade County School Board’s station. Then in the interview we taked about  the FTAA, the Free Trade Agreement  of the America’s and I said something to the effect of marijuana and coca being the staples of poor peasant farmers in Central and South America, called them “ agricultural products. “Oh well, that was nothing compared to the phones calls when I played live on WDNA’s Pandemonium. It was a weekly comedy show. Let’s just say I sang a song that used the f-word but creatively. The shows hosts encouraged me to sing it but it ultimately brought down the wrath of the FCC. So you know those 7 words you can’t say on televison? You can’t sing them on radio either. Wow you know I just remembered after the last time I played live on the FAU station in Boca the FCC made them cut back their transmission to only on campus.I most be doing something right!

Even all of those times, pale in comparison to the angry phone calls and out right bomb threats when I played “ This Land Ain’t Your Land ( Apology to Woody ) “ on the Beast and Baker show during the Elian saga. Hey man it’s a very “ up with people song “ ( to borrow a phrase from Kimba. ) Those crazy Cubans just misunderstood the words and all those rednecks it just went over their heads. So basically it pissed off a bunch of people for completely different reasons. I wrote the perfect song. Woody would be proud. This here guitar kills fascists and all that.  What all these folkies nowadays don’t understand is I’m a guy that writes song like Woody Guthrie and they’re guys that drive SUV’s worth more than my house and play Woody Guthrie songs on guitars worth more than my car! Hey how many folkies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?  …Five… one to screw in the lightbulb and four to stand around and complain that it’s electric! ha ha

APOLOGY TO WOODY  ( This Land Ain’t Your Land )

As I was rafting south of the border,

I found myself in U.S. waters,

I saw the Coast Guard, in the land of the free,

But this is what those bastards said to me,

This Ain’t Your Land, This Land Is My Land,

Were going to send you Cubans back to your island,

Were going to send your mama to Krome Avenue,

This land was made for me not you,

From the Bay of Pigs, South to Havana,

To the Port Au Prince toTexarkana,

I heard Bill Clinton say on the tv,

This land was made for you and me,

As I was talking to Janet Reno,

She said there nothing I can do,

I’m sorry but you’ll all have to go,    

Ship you back to Guatanamo,

This Ain’t Your Land, This Land Is My Land,

We’re going to send you refs back to your island,

We’re going to send your mama to Krome Avenue,

This land was made for me not you,

As I was drowning in the blue ocean,

The politicians making commotion,

I saw the shoreline, I was going to be free,

This land was made for you and me,

This land was made for you and me,

An enduring song even if a little dated. Political satire has a limited shelf life, like chewing gum it loses it’s flavor overnight. Hey I write all kinds of songs. Who wants to hear a song about Bob Dole called “ the Banana Republican? “ Geez, what am I the next Phil Ochs or something? Now I could only remember the words to “ Wacko in Waco part 2. “

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