” All you ever write about is drugs, when are you going to write about sex? ” Ok then here it is a torrid tale of illicit teenage sex in public! at a Van Halen concert no less! I was 17 and in my senior year at high school. My Dad through the company he worked for got me great skybox tickets. I saw a lot of great shows but this was Van Halen. Not Van Hagar or any of that crap, we’re talking Diamond Dave and the boys in their prime. It was the Diver Down tour ( appropriately enough as we shall see ). I took my girlfriend and a couple of friends. We took the elevator up. The sky box was awesome. It had two floors with balconies overlooking the arena. The concert was also broadcast on closed circuit t.v.s Upstairs was a like a small living room, the downstairs had a bathroom and a fully stocked mini bar ( Stroh’s! ). After a few drinks, I sent my friends up stairs so me and my girl could spend a little quality “ alone time “ which remember back in high school was hard to come by. We were young and wild used to the back seat of my car but now we could go in style. We were on the balcony making out when the first act begun. It was After the Fire. I’m sure you remember their dorky hit “ Der Kommissar.” “ …don’t turnaround, uh, oh, der Kommissar’s in town uh, oh… “ yeah that’s it.
So the lights were low and we were progressing to the next level of undress. It was dark and no one could see us. Soon we were going at it full fledged on the carpet. Needless to say I was enjoying the show. Time flies when you’re having fun and before we knew it the opening act was done but we weren’t. The music stopped and the house lights came on but we kept going strong doing the horizontal boogie. Next thing I know, I’m hearing applause. Maybe Van Halen is starting? But no. Where’s it coming from? The applause was coming from… another skybox across the way where a radio station was broadcasting live and apparently they could see us because they were giving us a standing ovation. I can only imagine what the D.J. was saying. “ These kids are really going at it here at the Van Halen concert. Look at them go! “ Soon as I saw what was going on, I picked up my partner, still inside her I lifted her up and high tailed it to the bathroom to finish the deed. Going at it as only a bunch of sex crazed teenagers can, soon my friend Cindy Victorine was banging on the door. “ The show’s starting, the show’s starting “ and out we emerged both with smiles on our faces and vicious rug burns just in time to see Diamond Dave wearing nothing but chaps moon the audience and launch into the first song. That’s rock’n’roll.