This writer stuff really suits me. People always said I would be a good writer, and I always was, but like I never wrote anything down, you dig? I’m a born writer. I see myself like that guy on Californication, except I live in Florida. I’m just like that guy or at least I would be if I was a semi-famous writer from New York living in L.A. that has to beat the women off with a stick ( odd analogy that one I wonder where did it come from? was there ever a real life situation where a man had to actually fight off women? with a stick? ) Yeah I watch that show and think this guy reminds me of myself ( in ways I can’t explain ) but mine is a real life and his is just a t.v. show. You know what I mean?
So I’m checking my stats.Yah! I got 8 reads ( that doesn’treally tell you if they read it or not, it means someone looked it, even briefly, 8…. huh )
so that’s for today ? or the week? …uh total!
Oh well I know you are enjoying it so that’s all that really matters. It’s getting me excited. Ok so I really should be editing this stuff but too late for that as I spew forth yet another tale. Here’s a short story I wrote entitled Dweeb “… is it auto-bio-graph-ical? ” I knew you were going to say that smart ass. Why yes, it is matter of fact.
I WAS A DWEEB IN MIDDLE SCHOOL. I DIDN’T WEAR A POCKET PROTECTOR, BUT I WAS SHORT AND BRAINY AND WORE GLASSES. I WAS CALLED A FOUR EYED FREAK AND TAUNTED BY ALL THE COOL KIDS. ( IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL ONE GIRL USED TO CALL ME A SHORTY ALLIGATOR WITH GLASSES BUT I THINK SHE WAS FLIRTING WITH ME ) BY 6TH GRADE I WAS DEFINITELY ON THE SLIPPERY SLOPE OF ETERNAL NERDOM. TOO SMART FOR MY OWN DAMN GOOD, I TOOK THE S.AT.’S IN
SEVENTH GRADE AS PART OF THE JOHN HOPKIN’S MATHEMATICALLY PRECIOUS YOUTH
PROGRAM AND WON AN AWARD. ( I THINK I SCORED BETTER IN SEVENTH GRADE THEN WHEN
I TOOK THE S.A.T.’S LATER AS A HIGH SCHOOLER! ) I WASN’T WISE TO IT AT THE TIME
BUT THE PROGRAM WAS DEFINITELY A WELCOME TO THE NERD MACHINE. LIKE I NEEDED ANY
HELP. I ALREADY HUNG OUT WITH THE ALL THE OTHER NERDS AT SCHOOL. WE HAD OUR OWN
SECTION IN THE CAFETERIA. THIS ONE TIME WE WERE SIITING AT OUR DWEEB TABLE
EATING LUNCH WHEN THIS HIGH SCHOOL KID HIGH ON ANGEL DUST WALKED INTO OUR
CAFETERIA. HE HAD JUST BEEN SUSPENDED AND WAS OUT TO GET THE ADMINISTRATOR THAT
HAD KICKED HIM OUT OF SCHOOL ONLY HE WAS SO HIGH HE WALKED INTO THE WRONG ONE. OLD
MILL WAS A SENIOR HIGH AND TWO MIDDLE SCHOOLS, OLD MILL MIDDLE NORTH AND OLD
MILL MIDDLE SOUTH. THEY’RE THIS FUTURISTIC DESIGN WHERE ALL THREE SCHOOLS
INTERTWINE WITH ONE KITCHEN FOR ALL THREE CAFETERIAS WHICH ALL LOOK EXACTLY
ALIKE. HE MUST HAVE COME THROUGH THE KITCHEN AND THOUGHT HE WAS IN THE HIGH
SCHOOL PART. HA HA HE WAS IN THE WRONG BUILDING. FUNNY NOW BUT IT WAS ACTUALLY TERRIFYING. HE WAS SHIRTLESS AND HIS HAIR WAS A MESS, HE HAD DULL EYES WITH DARK RINGS UNDER THEM. I REMEMBER HIM DRIFTING PAST OUR TABLE SLOW AND ZOMBIE LIKE, ALL SPACED OUT. ALL THE KIDS GOT REALLY QUIET WHILE SOME TEACHERS STRUGGLED TO SUBDUE HIM. THEY FINALLY WRESTLED HIM TO THE GROUND AND ESCORTED HIM OUT. IT WAS PRETTY SCARY. THAT WAS THE FIRST GUY I SAW ON DRUGS.
THIS WAS THE LATE 7O’S AND I DIDN’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT DRUGS. I REMEMBER SEEING THIS STORY ABOUT ANGEL DUST ON THE LOCAL NEWS. PEOPLE WERE DOING IT AND FLIPPING OUT. THE STORIES WERE UNBELIEVABLE. A DUST CASE HAD TAKEN PEOPLE HOSTAGE AT A KMART. HE HAD WALKED IN AND ASKED TO LOOK AT A SHOTGUN AND SHELLS, THEN TURNED THE GUN ON THE CLERK WITH A LIST OF DEMANDS FOR SUPPLIES HE NEED TO MAKE AN EXACT REPLICA OF BATTLESHIP GALACTICA. ( ABSOLUTELY TRUE ) ANOTHER GUY KILLED AN INFANT HE WAS BABYSITTING. HE SAID THAT IT HAD TURNED INTO THE DEVIL. THEN THERE WAS THAT INCIDENT WITH JAMES BROWN. THIS P.C.P. WAS SOME REALLY WEIRD STUFF. I STARTED SEEING SOME OF IT’S EFFECTS FIRST HAND IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD. THERE WAS THIS TEEN GIRL THAT WAS STAYING WITH MY NEIGHBORS ACROSS THE STREET. SHE WAS THEIR COUSIN. I RAN INTO HER WALKING HOME FROM SCHOOL ONE DAY AFTER SHE HAD DONE SOME ANGEL DUST. SHE HAD A SWASTIKA CARVED ON HER FOREHEAD AND WAS RAMBLING SOMETHING ABOUT U.F.O’S. IT WAS SPOOKY. I WAS FASCINATED.